Discussion/Peer Support Group on Facebook

Here is a discussion/peer support group for this page´s/blog´s followers and also for others who are interested in using natural, holistic, alternative and spiritual methods to feel happier and more balanced & free in their lives. I decided to keep this now as a closed group, not secret. We can later decide together if we want to change that.

Welcome to join! ♥

https://www.facebook.com/groups/naturallyfree/

Connecting and Supporting/Donations

Hi! ♥

I wanted to say to all of you, that I´m so happy that you have found this blog/Facebook-page and that these writings have already reached so many people in so short time! This has been so long time my dream to start sharing this knowledge and to help people who are still suffering.

I ask your help in spreading the word or maybe you can tell me if you know some group or page on Facebook or somewhere else in the internet where could maybe be people interested in this topic.

And...

I have now profile on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tiina.valoisa and also here on Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/115057276846968048477/about

So feel free to add me as your friend, if you are interested in connecting with me or networking. And also if you are interested in joining a "Naturally Free From Anxiety and Addiction" -peer support and discussion group on FB.

I´m also giving private consultations via e-mail or private messaging. And I´m planning to start consulting also by video chats (Skype, Google+), but I´ll inform you when that is actually happening. You can also send messages here through this page - both private and public. 

I would also like to hear all kinds of comments and feedbacks from you and also it would be interesting to hear with what kind of problems are you combatting at the moment, so that I could take that in account when I´m planning the upcoming topics of my blog posts.

All this is happening now free/by donations. So if you feel that you have got some help from this page/blog/consulting, please help me in continuing this work by making donations (donation/support buttons are on the top of the right column).

It is not nice to talk about money, but the reality is that we are living in a world where you have to pay for things to stay alive and I would like to use my time - as much as possible - in helping people with this blog and by consultings. And I would be so very grateful, if you could help me in making this dream come true! ♥ Even nominal donations like 1 $/€ would be highly appreciated and they would show me that you respect and care about the time and effort I´m putting in this work.

Love, Tiina Valoisa

Dealing with difficult emotions: depression/pain body/Eckhart Tolle

One thing that is very common in addicted people is depression - before getting addicted, during the addiction and especially after quitting the addicted behaviour. Now we don´t have anymore the possibility to run away from facing these feelings of sadness and emptiness to our addictions and we have to start learning new ways how to deal with these emotions and haunting memories from the past.

One thing that has helped me tremendously in this is listening Eckhart Tolle´s speeches or reading his books. And especially helpful has been his teachings about the pain body.

Here you can find a profound explanation what the pain body is: http://www.detoxifynow.com/et_pain_body.html.

And here is an introduction to Tolle´s life and work. Here you can also find the names of his books, so that you can buy them or borrow from library: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eckhart_Tolle

But personally I have found the biggest help from watching his videos. His soothing voice and a very direct way to always return us back to now, back to present moment, works wonders even if you are in the deepest and darkest pits of dispair. (Have been there myself, trust me... ;) you are not alone!) Of course it may be that you need to at first get to know his style for some time and listen the speeches few times before you start getting the relief from your pain. It is all about learning to live more and more in this moment. The more you start learning that, the less heavier your periods of depression and despair will be. But once again you need to be patient! Give time to yourself to absorb the new healthier ways of living. Addiction didn´t form overnight, so the same way it is going to be with your new lifestyle.

Here is an example of Eckhart Tolle´s videos, where he is talking about the pain body. You can find lots of free speeches in the internet, but if you start watcing them more often or if you find them to be helpful, I recommend you to support his work by purchasing some of his books or DVD:s or making donations or join to Eckhart Tolle TV by paying the monthly fee. (http://www.eckharttolle.com/)

I hope you will find the same incredible help from these teachings as I have found! <3

Calming Yourself Down Part 4 - Grounding

Grounding can help you very much if you have feelings of fear, nervousness, restlessness, anxiety, panic, insomnia or dissociation/depersonalization/derealization ("spaced out", unreal). Also here you need to be consistent and start building a new healthier routine for your days. Of course you can adjust the amount of grounding practises with how are you feeling at the moment, but if you include some of these advices permanently to your daily routine, it helps you to stay balanced in the long run. Balance builds up from many small good and sensible deeds and choices that maybe are not always the things you would prefer to be doing. You maybe would like to spend your time hanging in the Facebook or watching the tv etc, and that maybe suited you when you were supressing your feelings and your body´s needs with addictive behaviour, but it is not going to work anymore. You need to start having more restful pauses for your body and mind. But these little "sacrifices" of your time can give you so much in exchange! Feeling more peaceful, content and happy - more in this moment.

So here are some ideas for grounding yourself:

1) Go to the nature. Preferably every day, even shortly. You can walk or just sit there and relax. Breath the fresh air and feel the ground under your feet. It is very good if you can go to forest or some other place that is a little bit away from the city life and it´s crowded parks etc. There you can really enjoy the silence and feel the amazing energy that is at the same time both calming and refreshing. I have had this daily forest walk routine already a long time and I´ll do it  no matter what the weather is: same way if it shines or rains or snows or is freezing cold. (Oh yes, here in Finland the weather can be often quite challenging... ;) It is just all about the right kind of clothing and gear. It is just worth it! Every time I go to the forest, I find the same peace, joy and gratefulness inside of me.

2) Deep breathing. It is very common that people breath very shallow and use only the upper part of the lungs. And when we get anxious or scared we tend to almost stop breathing or do it in a very fast pace. And that makes us feel even worse and can even start a panic attack/depersonalisation feelings. So it is very good to start practicing a new way of breathing, a deeper way. There´s lots of free breathing exercises (pranayama) for example in Youtube, but one easy way is just start to practise yourself by counting to four when inhaling, then pause for a second, then four for exhaling, and pause again for a second. And repeat this for some time. You can also start to add little by little the amount of time that you are using in each phase of the breathing. But not too quickly. Learn to listen yourself and be gentle! Breath through your nose and breath down to your belly. Repeat this practise often, because habits that we have had for a long time don´t change overnight. So be patient! ;)

3) Regular day rhythm, routine and enough time for rest and sleeping. Oh yes... many of these tips are really simple, but it´s another thing to really use them in your life. Regularly. So, when the times are difficult, it is a very good thing to go back to basics. Think how you would rhythm a small child´s days. When to get up? At what times would it be good to eat (breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, supper/evening snack)? What time to go to bed? Once again I mention this indian ancient medicine, ayurveda, because it can be a very helpful tool to understand yourself better and to learn different ways to get yourself in balance. So just google "ayurveda" and you´ll find a lot of information about it. I´ll try to write an article about that subject at some point. :) So... In ayurveda there are three different body/personality types and for vata (the most light-headed) the proper sleeping time is from 10pm to 6am (8 hours), for pitta 10pm-5am (7 hrs) and for kapha (the least "space-boogier") 10pm-4pm (6 hrs). So different people need different amount of sleep and it can also vary in different times of the year or in your life. So learn to listen to yourself. Have time for relaxation and naps. Let yourself just be, doing nothing.

4) Bath/massage/touch/physical activity. We stay a lot of the time in our heads, thinking, planning, stressing, reminiscing... Now we´ll have to start learning again how to be more in our bodies. How to listen our bodies. How to take care and respect our bodies. It is important to get this kind of "bodily work/consciousness" as a part of our daily routine. It doesn´t have to be a long session. But the regularity is THE thing - once again. Try to find the ways to connect to your body and move it the ways you find the most natural and enjoyable just for you and your body type. Try yoga (different kinds of styles!), taiji, swimming, walking, biking, hiking, jogging, climbing, gym, playing different kinds of games together, dancing, contact-improvisation... ( you can find lots of "how to learn..." -videos in the web.)

 But try to leave out any harsh attitudes and learn to have fun and really enjoy the movement of your body. Remember how joyful it was when you were a child! Be kind to yourself. Try to be mindful when moving and let your attention to be fully in your body and the sensations that rise. Very efficient way to ground yourself is also massaging. And it is easy to do even by yourself. Oil massage before or in bath is very soothing and returns you again back in yourself, in this moment, if you are "floating/spacing out". Even 5-10 minutes is enough, but it is very good to have this as a regular part of your routine. Even daily if you are an "airy-fairy"-person like me. Touch also otherwise works very well and you can learn for example reiki or some other hands-on healing methods. Once again check the Youtube! And of course it is luxury if at least sometimes you can find somebody else to give a massage or touch-healing. Rosen-therapy is amazing as well!

5) Food. Different kinds of food products can help you in grounding as well. And a simple rule is just that heavier foods ground you more and lighter less (or very light foods, for example many raw foods, can even increase too "light" feelings) and fasting of course is in this matter the worst of all. Oily foods, wheat, root vegetables, dairy and nuts are foods that can help. Of course also meat products, but those I don´t recommend for many other reasons. :) Add more proteins to your diet! Also warm and moist foods are more grounding than cold and dry. Warm drinks are recommended, but then again not coffee, black or green tea or cocoa/cacao (or chocolate, sob... ;) and also many lemonades like coke and mountain dew, because they all contain some forms of stimulating substances like caffeine, teaine (don´t remember what it is called in cocoa, some "-ine" it still is, and affecting the same way) and these can increase the unwanted spacey feelings. My doctor once told me that anybody will get a panic attack if he/she is given an amount of caffeine, that is over their own "limit". In ayurvedic vata types it basically means complete no-no to these beverages. (Okey, sometimes I just have to get some chocolate... ;) Herbal and fruit teas are very good options. But of course you have to just find out your own limits by trying these things yourself. Learn to listen to your body, what it needs to feel well. Be your own guru!

6) Cleaning and keeping things in order. In times of big changes the life can start to feel chaotic. And a good way to balance that is to have order in those things you can affect - like your home´s cleanliness. The act of cleaning is in itself very grounding and can change amazingly fast your unreal feelings to very "normal" and ordinary. Clean home is also energetically more pure and you can sense it as a good atmosphere.

7) You can try to keep your attention more on your first, root chakra´s area and in your legs/feet. Feel the ground under your every step. You can also visualize yourself having strong roots that reach the earth wherever you are. Even high in a plane. And you can ask the Mother Earth to keep you grounded and feeling safe. You can rub your feet and also make sure that they stay always dry and warm. That helps the whole body to be warm, and it then again helps you to stay feeling grounded and safe.

8) Use your hands. Try gardening, baking, painting, knitting, wood work... Anything that feels good to you. Touch and feel with your hands. Get your hands dirty!

9) Prefer natural materials in your home and in your clothes. Walk barefoot in the nature and on the wooden or stony floor. Be mindful how it feels. Enjoy the sensations.

Okey, maybe these are enough now for the start. :) I´ll add more if some ideas come to my mind that are not yet here and you can also share your grounding tips! :)

Calming Yourself Down Part 3 - Liver Cooling (First Aid Kit)

This tip works especially when you feel angry, irritated, frustrated, stessed, exhausted, anxious and/or agitated. Usually we have these feelings because our liver is overheated. It can cause also physical symptoms like headache, allergies, rash, acne etc. And many times when we have used for a long time some synthetic chemicals, our liver is HOT HOT HOT and stuffed with all kinds of impurities. And it can be really painful to live with those symptoms. Believe me - I´ve been there! And you definitely have all my symphaties and that´s why I want to help you anyway I can.

So detoxing/cooling the liver is one of the first things you need to take care of when you are starting this new life style. It helps you to be more calm, relaxed and balanced and that way it can help you to stay away from returning back to your addictions when going starts to get tough. So, here is listed some ideas what you can do as a "first aid" when you are having these symptoms. I will discuss detoxing your liver in other post.

1) Drink plenty of cool water! I mean MANY glasses right away, even 1,5 liters (0,4 gallons). And after that you can still continue drinking more water than you would usually do. It can help if you keep a jug of water next to you all the time. Of course it is not good to drink too much per day. This is once again a very simple advice but it can work wonders and really cool you down quite quickly when you are boiling from anger, nervousness and agitation.

2) This is also one of the best first aid tips. Put ice to your liver! Use cold compressions, freezer blocks or ice cubes in a small plastic bag. Or do as I do and fill used shampoo bottles, small plastic lemonade bottles etc with water and freeze them. It is good to have always some freezed items in your freezer ready to use in case of "anger emergencys". Because you may need them quite often, at least right in the beginning of your new life style. If you have been avoiding and repressing your feelings with some kind of addictive actions, it may be that there are a lot of emotions waiting to be released, right when you need them the least...

So, wrap some thin cloth around the ice vessel and place it to your liver. I usually use one little bit bigger vessel for the upper part and a smaller in the lower (and on the right side of the body, right...? ;) You shouldn´t use this method during eating or right after bigger meals. And if you feel any pain, then move the cold compression away from the area that is aching. If you still feel pain, it is a message from your body that ice is not the right solution right at that moment. Try then some other method.

3)  Use a guided mindfulness video I have posted here before.

4) If it is impossible to be still and you are boiling from anger, then it is recommended to let that anger come out. But of course in a responsible way. One good way is boxing, but if you don´t have a punching bag, you can use for example a pillow. You can also swear or yell if it is just possible in your surroundings. But try to stay conscious when you are doing that. Try to let some part of you just witness the hurricane. Some meditation school of thoughts say even that this would be good to do every day for 5 minutes. Even when you are not feeling any anger at the particular moment. Because at leat in Western countries we are so accustomed to repressing our emotions that we don´t often even recognize that we have them lingering under the surfice. It is good to know that sometimes using this kind of very actve method can even worsen your symptoms and increase the heat in your body, so you have to just try these different suggestions in different times and learn which ones are the best for you in which times.

5) One quite harsh method is to put your face/head to freezing cold water. You can also take a cold shower or a bath. Or maybe go to use public swimming baths cold water pool. And of course one hardcore method here in Northern parts of the globe on winter time is ice swimming or rolling in the snow... ;)

6) Do something that makes you laugh and that way releses the tension. Do for example laugh yoga (search in Youtube!) or watch your favourite comedian or sit com.

7) Go to nature and the more further place without other people the better. You can also yell in there if you find it helpful, but consider first if there is a possibility that somebody might get concerned that if you are in some kind of danger. It is not so simple nowadays find natural locations where you could be just by yourself. But usually just walking in the forest for some time makes you feel better.

8) Soothing and cooling breathing excercises (pranayama). You can once again use Youtube´s guided videos. Just be sure that you don´t do ones that collect even more heat to you body. Choose for example "anuloma viloma" or "sithali".

I hope that these suggested methods can help you to feel more calm, peaceful and happy! :)

Calming Yourself Down Part 2 - Massage

Ok, some of these tips that I´m giving here may sound too simple to really work. But many times the simplest things prove to be the most important things, if - once again - done regularly, made part of your daily routine. And one this kind of very efficient thing in the the times of anxiety and withdrawal symptoms is massage. Somehow it is not very common knowledge in at least Western countries that daily self-massage is in some parts of the world as common routine as for example brushing the teeth.

Massaging is very relaxing, soothing and it takes the attention away from our overactive and worrying mind and moves it to our body, that way relieving tension, nervousness and anxiety. It is very grounding and makes you feel more down to earth and balanced. To be here and now, peacefully in this moment and more comfortably in your own body. It is also a good way to start taking good care of yourself, your body. To respect, love and be gentle towards yourself that is an important part of healing and recovering.

In ancient Indian medicine, ayurveda, daily self-massage with oil is one of the most important methods to keep you balanced and feeling good. There are three different body & mind types in ayurveda and you can quite easily find out which one is/ones are yours. There are many tests in the internet that help you in this and give more information about the recommended oils and massage methods for each body type. But it is not the most important thing, at least in the beginning. Just get started right away by using any oil that you can find from your home. Organic natural oils are of course the best, but there are also for example some non perfymed oils, that you can buy from pharmacy, in case you have allergies or atopic skin type.

You don´t need to know anything specific about massaging techniques. Just use hand movements that feel good and go through your whole body. One principle is that move always from verges of your body to the heart´s direction. Nice place to do massage is a bathtub or sauna, but they are not necessary in this and not an excuse to avoid this practice... ;) Only five minutes is enough, what counts also here is the regularity.

Here is a test to find out your ayurvedic "dosha", body type: http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/

Here is more information about the ayurveda and different body costitutions: http://www.ayurveda.com/online_resource/index.html

And here is an example video of ayurvedic self-massage:

Calming Yourself Down Part 1 - Reiki

One thing that has really helped me to go through some of the most difficult times of anxiety, panic, dissociation and insomnia is that I have learned to calm myself down by putting attention to my body. There are many ways to do that, but let´s start with a few techniques. Once again it is your job to find out which ones are the most suitable for you, but I ask you to try these all and really be open to learn and experience new things that might help.

One thing that is good to remember, is that don´t get frustrated if you don´t get a relief from your symptoms immediately or for the first few times you are doing these exercises. People who have used for example drugs, alcohol or tranquilizers, and other addictions as well, to make difficult feelings go away, are used to that the relief has always come right away. But where did it lead us? So now it is time to learn new tricks, new ways to live this life and find balanced feeling. You need to have some humility now in this process and start regularly doing these things that are going to help you little by little to feel better.

So let´s start with one of my favourites..

Reiki

Reiki is a Japanese energy healing method that is used all over the world to helf-healing ang healing others. Usually it is taught in courses, but my experience is that you can get immediate help from it by just starting to practise it at home by guided videos. Once again regularity and repetition is the name of the game and that way you start getting the results. One thing that I have noticed that many times it takes some time (maybe 15 minutes or so..) to start to really relax, so please don´t stop the exercises if you feel restless and/or anxious in the beginning. I assure you, it is really worth to learn this technique! I think it has literally saved me from going insane when I had the most difficult time with insomnia (didn´t get sleep almost at all for two months!!!) and anxiety. So I am so SO grateful to have learned this method!

I put here some example videos to get you started. And if you have possibility and you can afford, then it´s very nice to go to some experienced reiki healer. It can be very relaxing experience, but you can get the same results also by self-treatment. You can search from Youtube or Google Videos with entries like "guided reiki", "reiki hand positions" or "reiki self-healing".